Challenges are a fact of life. Challenges at work. Challenges at home. Even unexpected challenges in the world. And we all know, the more difficult the challenge, the more stress, anxiety, and fear it can create.

How can you build the courage and resiliency you need to effectively face your most difficult challenges? The best strategy is to deemphasize what you cannot control and focus on what you can control.

Deemphasize What You CANNOT Control

You cannot control the 3 UN's:

UNcontrollable Circumstances: Natural disasters. Unexpected illness. A pandemic outbreak. An economic downturn. Many events in your life are completely out of your control.

UNexplainable Problems: A wayward child. A long-term client moves her account to another company. No matter how often you play Monday-morning quarterback and second guess your actions, some circumstances are simply unexplainable.

UNchangeable Situations: Your employer has made up his mind…period. Your business plan didn’t work. Sometimes, you have to face the music and realize certain situations are unchangeable.

All three UN’s are completely out of your control. Therefore, if you want to be in charge of your life even when the outside world feels out of control, you must break your fixation with the UN's. Instead, build your resiliency muscles by investing your time, focus, and energy on what you can control and deemphasize what you cannot control.

Focus on What You CAN Control

In my keynote presentations, I share a resiliency mindset I learned as an at-risk student from an amazing educator. It's the same principle Jack Canfield articulates in his book, The Success Principles. It empowers you to become response-ABLE by becoming 100 percent responsible for your life.

 E+R=O

“E” stands for the “events” in your life. As already stated, you have little control over most of the events that occur in your life.

“R” stands for your “response” to events. This is the only thing you have complete control over. In fact, each of us is 100 percent in charge of how we choose to respond to every event that occurs in our lives.

(Notice that I did not say "react." There is a huge difference between reacting and responding. Reactions are often immediate, impulsive, emotional, and without much thought. A response, on the other hand, is an intentional, thought-out, purposeful reply or action.)

“O” stands for the “outcomes” you experience.

Most people live an E=O life. They believe their outcomes are directly tied to the events they experience. Since events in life come at us in waves, these people live small, helpless lives because they are controlled by whatever wave hits them next.

On the other hand, the most resilient and successful people live an E+R=O life. Instead of being tossed back and forth by waves, they choose how they ride the waves. Their RESPONSE to the events in their lives, not the events themselves, determines their outcomes. They are Response-ABLE.

Header Photo Credit: StockUnlimited